Fk Up
by Yokata Mizu Yosei
Summary: After a fight with her boyfriend, Raven steps back and thinks. KFlashRaven


Yeah. This? My first (posted!) attempt at the TT 'verse. I'm more of a Malchior/Rorek and Raven fan, but I do so love the many odd couple possibilities. Red-X and Rae, Aqualad and Rae, Speedy and Rae, and, of course, Kid Flash and Rae. Dunno, I guess I'm a sucker for the unconventional. This is weird, but I'm tired and I'll worry about making sense later. No names are mentioned, per se, but it's pretty obvious. Not really romantic, I guess, but contemplative.

Warnings for language only.

Disclaimer: Moi? Non. Teen Titans does not, in fact, belong to me. Credit goes to DC and their lot.

Fuck Up

She's a mess.

Fuck, when **isn't** she?

She's a mess and he's gone and it's all over.

Again.

God damn it.

Why does he always do this to her?

Every single **fucking** time, it's always the exact same damn thing.

Shit, the second time it happened she figured it was just a weird coincidence, except then it happened again.

And again.

And again.

They're getting along fine, then 'WHAM!', and suddenly they're fighting over stupid, pointless shit.

And it just escalates.

She loves him.

God, she wouldn't **stay** if she didn't love him!

It's just . . .

He makes it so hard.

He always makes it so fucking hard.

She wants the stupid fairytale, happy-ending kind of romance Robin and Star have, but she doesn't get it.

She doesn't know why.

Don't they deserve it?

They've been defying fate from the get go, she was supposed to fall into Beastboy's arms and he was supposed to charm Jinx's socks off, but that's not how it went down.

They caught each other's eye and it was all over.

Damn it.

Theirs was a strange courtship, intellectual and verbal sparring matches, spontaneous vacations from their respective job duties, and just **moving**.

He got her to go out dancing, and she taught him to enjoy curling up with a good book in bed with her.

He still thinks her room's too dark and she still thinks he's too impulsive, but they make it work.

They fight, though.

Maybe too much.

He gets jealous of the males she associates with, and she hates his inability to stay still for extended periods of time, even with her.

She does wonder how long it's going to last, however bad that sounds.

She just can't help **but** to wonder.

It can't last, nothing like this ever does, and she just clings because she can't bear to give this up, however fucked up it may be.

And it is.

She loves him.

She really does.

And she knows he does, too.

That doesn't automatically guarantee that they get a happily ever after together, though.

They fight too much, are too hard-headed, and God knows they're just about as mismatched as can be.

She wonders if their friends realize they know about the bets about how long they'll last before they break up for good.

She knows they mean well, usually, but God!

Bets on their fucking **love life**?

That's low.

Even if it **is** true.

She's tired, just un-fucking-believably tired of everything.

She's sick to death of hurting and being hurt by the guy she loves.

She really is.

That doesn't mean she's ready to throw the towel in, to just give up, not just yet.

She just isn't.

She's already ruing the dumb things she said, the hurtful things she said.

Being an empath was a bitch if the other person argued with her.

She knew exactly where to hit to make it hurt the most.

She knew exactly which buttons to push.

He wasn't any better, though, even for not being an empath he could read her with disturbing ease.

He hit her where it hurt, below the proverbial belt so to speak.

It had ended in yet another screaming match that ended with both of them storming off.

It was a torrid affair; they're both so passionate though one would never assume that on first meeting either of them.

She's stifled her emotions for years, only allowing so much to be seen, and he matches the part of the jester to a't', even better than Beastboy, hiding what he's feeling behind a cheerful mask that fools most.

Most, perhaps, but not all.

She knows the truth, of course.

Being who she is, **what** she is, it would have been inexcusably lax of her not to pick up on that little truth.

It really is terrible they want so badly for things to work out for them, given how much they hurt each other, she muses.

She'll be damned if she doesn't know **that**.


End file.
